None of the Above!
In the 1985
Hollywood comedy movie Brewster's Millions, the protagonist Brewster (played by the
inimitable Richard Pryor) is required to spend under strict
conditions 30 million dollars in 30 days, so he can inherit an even greater
fortune. In order to spend as much money as possible within the time frame he
enters the race for Mayor of New York City and throws most of his money at a protest campaign urging a vote for “None
of the Above”. Brewster ends his campaign when he learns, much to his surprise,
that he is ahead of the two corrupt establishment candidates in the poll and
announces that if he wins the mayoralty he intends to decline the post. In the
end neither of the two mainstream candidates wins the election, and a new
election with different candidates has to be held. With the grotesque carnival
of lying and religious bigotry that is the Northern Ireland Assembly elections
now in full swing I think it would be a splendid idea to have a
box, on the bottom of each ballot paper, in which people can put a cross
against 'None of the Above'.
If
enough people did this the election would have to be run again. There would be absolutely nothing to worry
about with regards to the alleged “political vacuum “this would create.
Everyone knows it is civil servants than run these six counties anyway not the
politicians, some of whom are adept only in the ability to run up exorbitant
expenses claims at the largesse of the tax payer. The fabric of society didn’t
crumble in Belgium when there was no government in charge for 589 days[1] so I am sure we would be
fine without the sectarian power sharing arrangement that is currently the
Northern Ireland Assembly for an extended period of time.
If
elections in Northern Ireland had to be re-run ad infinitum the DUP, Sinn Féin and
all the other big parties would eventually run out of money and we would have
heard their electoral promises so many times that we could see them as the lies
that they are right from the get go.
It could act as a political
catalyst for the silent majority of decent people from both communities in the
North of Ireland. New parties could be formed that actually spoke for the real
needs of the people of the six counties. They could fight to drain the swamp
that is Northern Irish politics of all the divisive sectarian organisations
that govern us aided and abetted with the implicit threat of paramilitary
groups and donations from dodgy, wealthy property developers. Any promise of a
better, shared future that the power sharing government which emerged as a
result of the 1998 Good Friday Agreement is now gone. Bulmer Hobson the
veteran, Belfast born Irish republican said when asked why he was not attending
the fortieth anniversary celebrations of the Easter Rising in Dublin “the phoenix of our youth has
fluttered to earth a miserable old hen. I have no heart for it.”[2] I share similar sentiments about the outcome
of the Northern Ireland Peace Process.
Of course all of the above is just
a pipe dream on my part. This being Northern Ireland the political
organisations would probably seek a similar
resolution to the one
suggested in German writer Bertolt
Brecht’s satirical poem “The
Solution”
After the uprising of the 17th
June
The Secretary of the Writers Union
Had leaflets distributed in the Stalinallee
Stating that the people
Had forfeited the confidence of the government
And could win it back only
By redoubled efforts. Would it not be easier
In that case for the government
To dissolve the people
And elect another?
The Secretary of the Writers Union
Had leaflets distributed in the Stalinallee
Stating that the people
Had forfeited the confidence of the government
And could win it back only
By redoubled efforts. Would it not be easier
In that case for the government
To dissolve the people
And elect another?
Nonetheless
I won’t be casting my vote in these upcoming elections. I would rather stick a
knitting needle into my eye. When I say
this to some of my friends they are absolutely horrified and react as if I have
advocated cannibalism or some other transgressive act. They remind me how
people fought and died for the right to vote and other conventional wisdom on
the subject. I respond to this by saying
that there is no moral obligation to vote in such a contest as the Northern
Ireland Assembly elections where all the parties are standing on platforms
antithetical to humanist values. In fact there is a greater moral imperative
not to vote as a large scale refusal to vote would rob the corrupt, sectarian
institution that is the Northern Ireland Assembly of much of the legitimacy it
currently has and most certainly doesn’t deserve.
[1] https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2013/10/01/589-days-with-no-elected-government-what-happened-in-belgium/?utm_term=.d5de06efe6d6
